Diet culture often makes women feel like a thinner version of themselves is the best version, but that's not always the case.
Lingerie influencer Elly learned a hard lesson.
Ellie lost weight during the divorce, and while she was the thinnest she'd ever been, she didn't feel good, and didn't even think she looked good.
“I lost weight when I was separated from my husband but it was stressful weight loss and I looked and felt gaunt,” Ellie told news.com.au.
It's only since she regained the weight that she's started to feel better. “I feel more like myself now. I can look back at photos and see how emaciated my face is, how painful my eyes are,” she explains.
Interestingly, when she was the youngest, she found that people were more likely to applaud her small stature than worry about it. “I still remember all the compliments I got,” she explained.
look? Food culture is toxic and too many people are bitten by the idea that losing weight is entirely a sign of success and can't possibly be for negative reasons.
This kind of thinking is what makes Pat Gaele's work so delicate.
Gaele is a personal trainer and trainer who often finds himself dealing with clients who are too focused on their weight instead of their health
“There's always a lot of pressure from clients who just want to lose weight, which is where I get most of my income,” he explains.
However, Gaele finds this mentality dangerous, as he believes losing weight is not a panacea.
“People often think that losing weight will make them happier! However, they don't address what's really making them unhappy in the first place, and it's more complicated than they realize,” says Gaele.
In response, Gaele tries to help his clients focus on health, “If people are happy and healthy, let them be happy and healthy. We don't have to all be the same or look the same.”
Still, the idea that losing weight will make you happier is culturally ingrained, and who can blame us?
Who hasn't seen a weight loss commercial? Always a sad looking big guy before and always a smiling happy guy after. Its message is that if you're thinner, you'll be happier.
Even if you manage to avoid weight-loss ads, it's nearly impossible to avoid the backlash from celebrity police daring to gain weight.
Singer and actress Selena Gomez recently came out publicly about gaining weight because she was ridiculed for it.
This kind of messaging led people to believe that losing weight would be the secret to feeling better, and many women fell in love with it.
Losing weight doesn't equate to happiness, a quick survey of some Australian women has found.
*Rachel revealed that losing weight only made her feel worse about herself, “I lost 65kg and now I'm obsessed with my weight and how I look. I don't have confidence,” she explains.
Also *Jess shared, “I lost 25kg, which was when I was most insecure, and I ended up developing an eating disorder trying to maintain it.”
*Amy revealed that losing weight only made things worse, “It didn't solve the squat problem! If anything, I was more depressed and my health was worse,” she explained.
*Jordan revealed losing weight only made her weaker. “I lost 10kg due to family changes, and I've been cold and looking unwell.”
At the same time, Alexis found that when she gained weight during the lockdown, people viewed it negatively despite her being healthier.
“I was at my healthiest when I gained weight because I walked 20km a day (nothing better to do) and ate well, but I gained about 20kg, which I thought was fine, but I Constantly getting comments about it.”
After Alexis took medication for ADHD, her body changed again, she started losing weight, and was appalled by what people were saying about her body.
“I lost weight, and a lot of people praised me for losing weight, even when I said it wasn't healthy for me to receive positive reinforcement about my weight,” she explained.
Alexis attributes the positive reviews to people's distorted perceptions of weight.
“I've been approached by women in the gym all the time, saying how much better I look, how good I look, and asking what I'm doing.
“I'm going to be very honest and say that at the moment I'm not eating and that's something I've been working on, and then they're like, ‘Keep trying!'” she said.
While weight loss may still be considered the pinnacle of success, it's not, and blindly praising women for losing weight will only help dieting culture hold onto vulnerable women more firmly.
