I was a fat kid — now I’m a fat adult. Here are 4 things that helped me more than weight loss ever did.

• I grew up wearing a size 16; now I wear a size 18.

• Today, I am healthier physically, mentally and emotionally than I was in my youth.

• Staying active and shopping for the right size has helped me the most.

Growing up, it seemed at times that as long as I could get to the 12-yard paradise, everything would fall into place.I'm not That Much bigger, I tell myself when I lay down and button my size 16 pants, or when I get a belly ache from sucking on my belly all day long.

Now, as an adult, I'm a step further than a size 12 and wear the 18 that I probably should have been wearing all along. But I found the promised land: body acceptance without the shame or pressure to change.

Medical professionals, family members, and random people on the street love to tell fat people to “just lose weight.” It was the only way my parents knew how to help me in the 1990s as I was struggling with confidence and body image. I even took this message myself, lost 50 lbs in college and gained them back after I had my baby.

But the things that make me a healthy, happy person have nothing to do with losing weight. This is what I wish I had known sooner.

find happiness in sports

As a child of the 90s, I used to play in the yard, bike around the neighborhood, or impromptu kickball games. But when I hit the T-ball, I'm stuck in the catcher's position. During football games, I was put in the goal. It didn't take long for me to get the message that a body like mine doesn't belong in the movement.

So I stopped playing. I dabbled in individual sports like fencing, but didn't find joy or enjoyment in sports until I was an adult.

That's when I realized my body could move. In sports like weightlifting, my size is an advantage. I enjoy hiking, kayaking, and obstacle courses. I like to try sports that aren't for me, like ice climbing or yoga.

For years, I believed that exercise had only one goal: to lose weight.But when I realized that exercise is really just for pleasureI'm in love.

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Get clothes that fit, no matter the size

When I was a teenager, shopping was torture. It usually ends in tears. I avoid mentioning the plus size section and instead draw myself to straight sizes. I've never developed a strong fashion sense because I only wear clothes that fit.

As an adult, I had an epiphany: The size on the label doesn't matter. I start with shirts that are bigger and then pants that don't leave marks on my skin.

When I embraced a size larger, I immediately felt better physically and emotionally. No one wants to be squeezed or squeezed all day. Now that I shop almost exclusively online, there are more retailers out there that offer plus size items. I love trying new styles and even renting clothes.

Well-fitting clothes have proven to boost my confidence more than undersized clothes.

Cook Delicious, Healthy Meals

My childhood diet tasted like punishment. Salad with no dressing, boiled eggs, cottage cheese – doesn't sound very appealing.

Now I know healthy doesn't mean boring. I make stir-fries, curries, soups, and yes, even salads that burst with flavour. The food I eat tastes great and gives my body plenty of energy. I realized I didn't have to choose between healthy and delicious because I deserved both.

Identify with the plus size community

If there was a body positivity movement in the early 2000s, it certainly didn't affect me. But today my Instagram feed is full of big bad guys. Some are lifting weights for the Olympic team, while others are climbing mountains or becoming yoga influencers. They are travel bloggers, lingerie models or experts in their field.

In short, they're doing things that anyone can do, but what generations have told people with bigger bodies doesn't work for them. That kind of inspiration and representation goes a long way, especially on tough days. Fortunately, these days are few and far between.

Read the original article on Insider